I'm watching post match presentation ceremony on TV, after the much haunting defeat (5th ODI Ind-Aus @ Hyderabad) . Common sense tells me that I should switch off TV & get in bed. It's almost 2 a.m. on a weekday night . Just sitting there, gazing at the flickering screen is not going to change the result of the match. I would have sat there all night dwelling over the various If's & But's scenarios, but thanks to Arun Lal the dazed spell was broken & I was brought back to my senses.
So there'z Arun Lal, the master of the ceremony or Emcee as they call them (which incidently, rhymes nicely with monkey). Arun Lal despite the missing tail, fits the job description . (And) then there'z SRT , the master blaster, a man who for few valiant hours, had earlier tried to climb Mt. Everest without oxygen tank. The outcome of such suicidal missions are well documented. Sudden brutal death. Despite all of his greek god heroics, SRT end up as DMW- dead man walking. Dead. Dazed. Defeated. Yet the world of sport is such that the dead man has to attend his own funeral & collect his own Param Vir Chakra medallion. Tonight, thanks to the PVC sponsors - Hero Honda, the medallion turns out to be a piddly little red motorbike. They are handing out a 220 CC motorbike to a man who has a Ferrari sitting in his garage. No wonder SRT is not keen on collecting the keys when he is called upon to receive the Hero Honda - Man Of The Match award. But then what is Mr. Emcee there for, if not to suck up to sponsors.
"Sachin.. Sachin.. you are also supposed to collect the keys to your Hero Honda bike"
"The keys Sachin.. the bike keys."
The monkey is shrieking on a public address system. He thinks SRT is blind enough to have not spotted the 2 foot long replica cardboard keys. The humble guy (even in death) that SRT is , turns in his tracks & collects the damn keys from the Hero Honda marketing dude. Small mercy that the monkey doesn't request SRT to get on the bike & pose for few photographs.
The worst is yet to come. The dead man trudges to the stage & is now next to Mr.Emcee who's ready with the most earth shattering questions. This is something akin to thrusting a microphone in face of a person, who has just lost his dearest friend in a ghastly accident. I don't exactly remember what the first couple of questions were. But believe you me, they were stupid. What I do remember is the last question.
"So Sachin, what is the motivation for you to play after all these years ?"
That was the trance breaking question as far as I was concerned. It snapped me right out of my static depression & propelled me into uncontrollable dynamic rage.
Mr. Arul Lal, you fucking moron,
"What is your motivation for banging your wife after all these years of marriage ?"
"What is your motivation for getting a boner after all these years of manhood ?"
"What is your motivation to 'breathe' ? Do you ever say, I'm getting bored of breathing. Maybe I should stop breathing & see what happens ? "
Have you ever pondered upon these questions ? Well if you do, then you or anyone else would not pose this question to SRT, ever.
p.s. : Thanks Arun Lal, for providing me motivation to write a textual blog post (rant) after a long long time.
p.p.s : For sure the dead man will arise again.
p.p.p.s : Love you (as always) SRT.
