Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Mann-waa Ko Algolagnia Hui Gawaa

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Sadism refers to sexual or non-sexual gratification in the infliction of pain or humiliation upon or by another person. Masochism refers to sexual or non-sexual gratification in the infliction of pain or humiliation upon oneself.

Sadists desire to inflict pain; this may or may not be sexual in nature. Masochists desire to receive pain, which again may or may not be sexual. The simple physiological enjoyment of pain is technically known as algolagnia.

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Interior – Movie Theatre – Night

One by one the lights go off. The opening montage of a movie starts unfolding on screen . A female voice can be heard on the soundtrack. A typical modern day easy paced melody with techno beats.

Tum Se Mohabbat Kar Lu.. Ji Bhar Ke aye ye ye
Poori Hasrat Kar Lu.. Ji Bhar ke.. aye ye ye

Everything is normal. Majority of the audiences have settled in their seats. Late comers are stumbling and feeling their way to their seats (**Ouccchh, mera peir baapu.. Meraa Peir **). The female voice fades out from the soundtrack, and a distinctly familiar male voice fades in..

Nazronnn Meinn Teri Kashish Ka Aalamnnn..
Dil Meinn Heinn Armanonn Ki Sargamnn

There is no mistaking that voice, its him alright. It's HIMesh – the high octave – Reshamaiyya. Spontaneously the whole theatre erupts in a cacophony of whistles, cat calls, doggie howls, clapping, hooting, hysterical screaming. People who were perfectly sane just few minutes ago, are now behaving like inmates of some mental asylum on a full moon night.

I have witnessed such scenes only once before in Singapore. The setting was same, interior of a theatre. The person who was making people behave irrationally was one gentleman with the name Sivaji Rao Gaekwad, and the movie was Baba. Now I am not much of an expert on Tamil cinema, but I reckon it must have taken Rajni few years to achieve that kind of cult status. But here is a guy (Himesh) who is getting that kind of mass adulation in only his 2nd movie! There has to be some logical explanation to the phenomenon that Himesh has become in such short span of time. While pondering seriously for 48 hours after watching Karzzzz, and after discounting several theories, realization dawned on me :

“Arey Mann-waa Ko Algolagnia Hui Gawaa"

I am predicting Karzzzz to sweep all major categories of Filmfare awards.Apart from the obvious best actor in a leading role, best playback singer, best music composer et all there are 2 other categories where it is gonna come up trumps:

Film-Fare for Best Costume Design / Makeup Artist

Himesh flies down to Kenya in a helicopter to meet his lady love. True to his Mumbaiyaa roots, he is seen hanging outside with the door open in mid-air, much same way as people hang out from local trains in Mumbai. The high point of this scene soon follows when the chopper lands near a lake where his gal is having a stand-up antakshari session. Without missing a beat the girl rushes in Himesh’s arm and they embrace right beneath the chopper.

You might wonder what has this scene got to do with costumes & make-up ? Well if you are watching this movie on DVD, I would request you to pause & rewind the scene and watch carefully again. The blades are rotating at full tilt, the grass is swaying wildly under the influence of turbulence, but guess what ? Himesh’s wig is firmly in its place. Blimey! it doesn’t fly off. Such fine display of craftsmanship has not been seen on screens since Bhanu Athaiya won Oscar for designing dhotis and scull cap for Baapu.

Film-Fare for Best Dialogues

Himesh is sitting poolside with a Apple Mcbook on his lap. Apparently he is busy composing a new tune ( “Pappu can’t type saala”) . A girl in bikini wades out of pool & walks up to Himesh and says with utmost sincerity ,

“Hi, Handsome”

Classik. There was not a single soul in the theatre who didn’t 'get' this dialogue. It almost brought the roof down. Err, almost, cause the roof shattering dialogue was to come bit later.

Urmila and Himesh are in middle of jungle. Himesh is trying to convince her that he is indeed a re-incarnation of Ravi Varma, her husband from previous life.

And Urmila is like, whatever dude I won't sleep with you, I don’t believe in this reincarnation crap. So Himesh says, I am gonna tell you few intimate things which only a husband and wife would know about each other (apparently, this is pre YouTube era, so whatever transpires between a husband n wife within the 4 walls of bedroom, stays in there)

Urmila : [contracting her already contracted neck muscles] Haan Monty, bataao tum aisi kaunsi nazook baatein jaante ho hamare baarey mein ?
Himesh : Kaamini, tum jab bhi kiss karti ho, tum aankhe bandh karti ho.

Classik.. Roof Down et all.

45 comments:

Anonymous said...

rotflmao @ the roof shattering dialogs. that's vintage iw.

cheers,
asuph

parikrama said...

asuph,
Give credit where it's due.Your comment should have read, "that's vintage Siraj Ahmed". I merely narrated those 2 dialogues verbatim, I don't deserve any praise for that..

Anonymous said...

rotfl @ “Arey Mann-waa Ko Algolagnia Hui Gawaa"

vi
*Too lazy to sign in!

parikrama said...

Whoaa.. vi commenting undercover kyaa ? I was spooked to see 3 comments, coz I had just finished posting my reply to asuph.. and was wondering if i accidently posted my comment twice.

Welcome back :)

The New Age Superhero said...

no comments :P

parikrama said...

abiw !!
Now this is truly astonishing. I finish replying asuph.. Vi comes in.. I finish replying to her, abiw comes in. This has never happened before. Seems like Himesh's magic has rubbed off onto this post also.. Superhit !

The New Age Superhero said...

no sir.. i think.. aapka jaadooooo chal gayaaaaa :P

parikrama said...

abiw,
Chal ab bhaag yaha se and go watch Karzzzz. Tu Pink Floyd, Guns n Roses etc etc bhool jaayega. After watching the movie, you would worship only one Rock star - Himmes. Jai Mata Di, he truly rocks..

The New Age Superhero said...

no sir.. i really don't have the balls to hear him.. watching him is a step ahead.. i'd rather die a coward's death.. i'm not as brave as you.. sorry :P

parikrama said...

Too bad you are not into S&M . I would say it's your loss totally :)

The New Age Superhero said...

wat? S&M? sex and molestation? wat? :P

parikrama said...

Tere peir kidher hein bhaai ? Now I know what you meant by "No Comments".. saala tu mera blog padhaa hee nahi !

Anonymous said...

>>Kaamini, tum jab bhi kiss karti ho, tum aankhe bandh karti ho.


OMG!!!! this is sooooooo sooooo 'CON' - idiot.

whatever convinced you to go and see a himesh rashmiya !! i cant tolerate the guy.

The New Age Superhero said...

you think i dare pass your posts uncle? mein toh taang kheech raha tha aapki :P

AB said...

maalik kya likh diya?? too good - i was laughing thru-out the post...
such a sarcastic way man.. himesh ka thoda khayal karte, that bechara goes around in that movie acting as if he believes in all those characters and dialogues... the sincerity shows in his eyes :-P
the movie is not going anywhere but for sure your blog is going places :-)

parikrama said...

Bluehues,
Himesh, like many other good things in life, is an acquired taste. To appreciate him, you need to train your mind in "shunyata" (Shunya = empty / clear / absolute openness & ta = "state of being"). Embrace shunyata and you would have no qualms in embracing Himesh..

abiw,
No comments.. :)

ab,
The sincerity shows in his dance aswell! He sincerely believes, spreading one's arms wide and jumping up and down can pass off for dancing ;-) Btw, the movie is going places aswell. I saw a filler on Zee proclaiming Karzzz as Superhit !

Happy Diwali to all of my blogger friends. Thanks for lighting up my blog with your comments. Truly appreciate your encouraging words.

The New Age Superhero said...

happy diwali sir.. have a great yr ahead

Arpana Sanjay said...

LMAO....whoa Parik!!
You were actually possessed to go watch the movie!! something good came out after all eh!

The dialogues....oooh ma!! I am now on a mission to find people who leave their eyes wide open while kissing....rotfl

gypsy said...

LMAO....


hilarious.....

parikrama said...

abiw,
Thanks mate. (Kelso ?!!)

arpana,
I am short of 1 film to complete a memorable trilogy of sadist movies for 2008. Singh Is King & Karzzzz would be a tough act to follow, but I have enough faith in Bollywood that I would accomplish my goal before year end.

d gypsy!,
Thanks & keep smiling :)

The New Age Superhero said...

hahahha... abey saaley.. i'm hopeless at sketching females.. i'd tried to sketch females a couple of times.. my ex-whatevers.. i think they became "ex" for a reason :P... i can't sketch females for nuts

Anonymous said...

IW,
You are bloody hilarious, there can be no other words to explain this. I read this piece twice (the second time was when I was having a bad day at work, I needed something to make me laugh out aloud). I have to go and see karrrzzz now, I must after this glowing review :P

Aside, know I am late with the wishes, but I hope you had a fabulous Diwali with pharal and all.

Cheers,
Scarlett

parikrama said...

abiw,
Neeyat saaf rakh while sketching females. You would see a marked difference :P

Scaryyyyyyyyyyyyyy,
Am so happy to see you here. The 2 n half hours of self-inflicted pain was worthwhile afterall :)

Hope you had a fabulous Diwali aswell. India se Faraal laaney ke liye eis baar koi girahaik nahi mila :( But still we had good old Halidraam Mithaaiwaala for our rescue. So it wasn't that bad in the end.

Hemant said...

Complete sarcastic, fun to read

but you can write similarly about many of hindi movies ..

though ppl feel something different abt Himesh and enjoy making fun of him ..
sometimes ppl feel modern or elite to hate him
but he is rockstar ... will be next superstar, jai mata di

i m no fan of him but my conclusion about ppl

they enjoy songs of Annu but they hate Himesh funny

this comment less talks about ur blg sorry for that but still i m posting :)

parikrama said...

Hemant,
Thanks for stopping by. Well here is the truth - I LIKE HIMESH - the singer & music composer & have no shame in admitting it in public. But Himesh the actor, is a totally different ball game.

I can't or rather I am not in a position to make fun of Himesh, as the joke is ultimately upon me (& others who laugh at Himesh).. coz the fact remains that - Himesh is successful, has name, fame & loads of money. He is trying his best to break into the territory of star sons by venturing into acting (or perhaps cashing in while he is on top of popularity wave) and has already created a distinct space for himself in the music scene. If nothing else, I atleast salute his self-belief !

dreamer said...

I almost swallowed my peppermint suppressing giggle attack at 'pappu can't type saala' :D

I always find you hilarious...but this one's among your funniest!

parikrama said...

dreamer,
So sorry about *almost swallowed peppermint* . Next time I will put a "choking hazard" warning :D

Thanks for your appreciation :)

aria said...

hehe phunny.. achcha laga .. laughed heartily after a long time..

par yeh Algolagnia kya hota hai ?

The New Age Superhero said...

yaar.. u tell me to stop sketching guys.. then u tell me to stop chasing skirts.. tum exactly kya advice dena chahte ho? sanyaas le lun?

parikrama said...

aria ji,
I had a hunch that the day would be special.. coz this morning while climbing down a bridge, I missed a step and fell down on all fours ! As it turned out, my long wait for you also got over today. Special indeed, aaj ka din aur aap ka comment.

Everybody is entitled for a blonde moment every now & then.. So i won't reprimand you for not reading the top section of this post. [pssst : read between the ++++ marking to find out what algolagnia means] :))

abiw,
Stop chasing skirts and start chasing Sarees. Bole toh try your hand at "mature subjects".

The New Age Superhero said...

hey cmon.. thats not a fair comments towards females wearing skirts.. how can you justify that they are not "matured" in skirts? :P

parikrama said...

The gals wearing skirts may be mature but you don't have the maturity to sketch such volatile subjects impassionately :)

The New Age Superhero said...

if only given a chance my friend.. skirts or without skirts.. it's all good for me.. of course.. passion is inevitable.. it's only when u do things passionately that you can give complete justice to your "job" :P

parikrama said...

Arey but passion should be kept bubbling within. In your case it seems like you are only too keen to share (or rather force) this passion onto your innocent subject :D

The New Age Superhero said...

"Share" is a better word my man.. "Force".. i don't force anything upon anyone.. i am a follower you see :P.. ok that made no sense :P

parikrama said...

>> i am a follower you see :P.. ok that made no sense :P

It made perfect sense puttar. You are follower of Sarah Palin & you see Russia from your house, na ?! Now there is a nice subject for you.. Try sketching Sarah Palin, wearing a saree :D

Chal this is my last reply to you on this post.

parikrama said...

>> Chal this is my last reply to you on this post.

Sorry yaar, that might come across as rude. I am actually embarrased by the comment count on this post ! More than half of them are my own.. yikes. But thanks for the TP :)

The New Age Superhero said...

mera imagination itnaa acha nahin hai.. and me prefers sareeless ppl :P

alrt sir.. jaise aapki ichaa :D.. rude kuch nahi :)

ab next post pe TP karenge :P :P.. or just add me on gtalk.. mail id toh mera display hota hi hai :)

AB said...

baapre!! 38 comments!!

himesh - fir champion!! :-)

bilbo said...

lol@ all the comments and imagining sarah palin in a saree. hilarious.

Take care

vi said...

Happy new year! I am going around typing that on everyone's comments...I hope they don't feel spammed :)

Rajavel said...

IW, from what I have heard CCTC dialogues are ripe for your analaysis too ..

The New Age Superhero said...

have you gone off on a vacation to get married or something.. why do ppl stop blogging once their marriage gets fixed!

parikrama said...

AB, Billy, Vi, Chetz..
First thing, thanks guys for visiting this dormant space :) Year-end's are always a bad time for me,workwise. Coz that is when most of our system makeovers happen. While our users put their feet up, sip onto their Pina Colada's and reminisce on the year gone by I invariably have to work my pants off.

Anyways, the worst phase is already behind me and hopefully I will have something nice to share with you guys soon.

ABIW a.k.a Spammer No.1,
Saaley becoz of you my comments count has been artificially inflated. Trust me when I say there isn't a single marriage proposal in sight. So fikar not, you still stand a chance ;-) Keep hitting on me (rather keep spamming). Thanks mate for checking on me, hope the new year is treating you well.

The New Age Superhero said...

frankly.. i don't give a spam :P :P

all good here.. and ain't i glad that i still stand a chance.. phew.. you had me worried for a while :P

we await a new post on this blog, sir